There is an old story about a Zen Master who refused to help someone who was struggling with the burden of a hard and difficult life. People asked the Zen Master if he would help the person. He said, “no let them struggle”. The people didn’t understand why he wouldn’t help. Eventually, he explained… “when you rob a person of their pain and suffering, you rob him of his life, his freedom, his independence; you keep him dependent on you and rob them of the experience and of their journey”. As a mentor, whether it be a parent, teacher, boss, or coach, it’s not necessary to give the answer. There is something profound to be gained by letting people learn by doing. We don’t have to correct them when we see them doing something we think is wrong or that we don’t think will work. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t but there is beauty in the struggle.
My youngest daughter is 21 years old and has slowly started a business over the last few months. A side hustle as the kids say these days. I gave her the best advice I could – Go for it. Give it everything you’ve got. That’s about all I need to say for now. But I’ve also heard people say, “Oh another candle business there are so many”. So what? Maybe it will work, and it won’t, but these people are missing the point. The lessons are in the struggle not in whether this business is a roaring success. I have learned the hard way over the years that in life, as with business, the best you can do for your kids and your people is to let them find their own way. That means getting out of the way and letting them learn. It also means letting them find their passion for themselves and see where it takes them. At the end of the day if someone has a passion for something they will become all consumed by it and it will lead to a happy and successful life.
It’s the same with the young people I know who thought Crypto and NFTs were the easy path to riches. All their friends were into it, and everyone was making money early on. Sounded great. My comments to my son’s mates who asked my view on it was this: “I think you will probably lose your money at some point, but I think it is a great process for you to go through.” For most of these kids aged 18-25 who were investing in it, it wasn’t big dollars, but it was a lesson to be learned. Plus, while it was the latest craze none of them were going to listen to me anyway. To experience the emotions and be a part of it is the lesson and if it works out then great. If it fails, then you will have been through your first crash and will be all the better for the experience.
But this applies to everyone that we come across who has dreams and aspirations, not just our kids. One of our best people here at Fortress is a young guy who has worked for me part-time for the last 2 years, Marcel. He’s a 20-year-old student studying software engineering at Uni and in only a few hours a week produces my podcast, organises the guests and takes care of all our social media. He’s quite brilliant. In the past, I would have tried to work out how to keep him working for me but early on I realised he would be here for a few years and then he’ll outgrow me. I realised my job is to help him do that. So, there will come a day down the track when he moves on to do something far more impactful on the world than what I do here, simply managing investments. I think it’s pretty cool I get to be a part of his development and how he approaches the world with his future endeavours.
It's often the same with investment advice from well-intentioned family members giving their views on how someone should invest. If you ask 20 different people, you’ll get 20 different views and most of them are either wrong or biased towards the weaknesses of the person who is answering. I see it all the time. As parents, we want the best for our kids. In many respects, we try to avoid the mistakes we think our parents made, but the flip side is I think we often just find new and interesting ways to mess our kids up anyway. One of the best things my dad ever did for me was when I was 15 and asking him about how to make money. He said, “I don’t know, you already know more about money than me, you’ll work it out.” But that was exactly what I needed, not my dad’s views on money, but his humility and honesty to tell me he didn’t know and to encourage me to go and learn for myself. When someone is curious and passionate, they will find the answers they need regardless of the hurdles in front of them.