The best life I have seen anyone live

This Sunday just gone was the 1 year anniversary of the passing of my incredible nephew Nathan Garcia. I had the privilege of delivering the eulogy at his funeral last year. When I reflect on it, I realise that my worst days are easier than his best days ever were. I am reminded that none of us have any excuse for not getting everything we can out of ourselves and our lives. I’ve included the transcript below because I can’t think of a better insight into a live lived well than Nathans. He lived the best life I have ever seen anyone live. 

Nathan’s life

Born with half a heart and then developing a severe form of scoliosis Nathan was burdened with not 1 but 2 life threatening diseases. He had so many surgeries that he himself lost count. He was in pain and discomfort every day.

But Nathan’s story is a happy one, about a remarkable life, lived under the most difficult of circumstances.

He was a kid with ambition and aspirations. There were things he wanted to do, and he wasn’t scared to have a go. He wasn’t one to sit back and wonder. Nathan took charge and went for it. YouTube creator…done. Basketball at the local league…done. Enroll in a new course…done. Travel and see the world…done. Go to sporting events…done.

When you think of the toughest person you’ve ever met you don’t expect it to be an 18 year old weighing 27kg. 

But for me, that’s what Nathan is.

He was physically tougher than anyone I’ve ever met. But it was his mental toughness that really set him apart. It’s one thing to deal with adversity but quite another to step up time and time again, for your entire life.

It was the German philosopher and poet, Goethe, who said about life: “Enjoy when you can, endure when you must”.

It was the Austrian philosopher and psychiatrist, Victor Frankl, who said: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

But it was Nathan Garcia who said:

“Hey Uncle Dion, when are we playing NBA2K next? I’m gonna kick your ass”

Nathan was the living breathing example of whatever your favourite quote about life tries to explain. He lived every day to the fullest. He didn’t dwell on his problems. He dealt with his situation as best he could and moved forward. He didn’t let it define him or stop him from doing the things he wanted to do.

Nathan was a combination of juxtapositions, contradictions, and opposites: 

  • He suffered but was happy

  • Was kind but fierce

  • Considerate and generous but super competitive

  • He seemed weak but was strong

  • Small but larger than life

  • A boy who became a man who enjoyed life despite his hardships

  • And though now he’s gone he’ll be with us forever

As heartbroken and as sad as we are right now, and as deeply as we will feel his loss, the story of Nathan’s life is a happy one. It is a triumph of his spirit and a celebration of his resilience in the face of insurmountable odds. 

Nathan’s people 

Nathan loved his all family and friends.

He loved his Mum and Dad. He loved Callum and Emma.

He loved his grandparents, uncles, aunties, and cousins.

He loved his best mate Bhodie.

He loved Mary, Jayden, Damien & Nate.

He loved his dog Lannan who I probably should have listed first.

These are the people he would talk about most with me, but I know there are many more.

When I think of Nathan, I think of my sister Monique. Just after he passed, she sent me a message saying, ‘I was his person, and he was mine’. They were a team, and they will be forever. 

Monique, to me your greatest achievement will always be getting Nathan to his 18th Birthday. You raised your child to become an adult. You did that. But I know you will be relentless in continuing building on his legacy. To quote Kobe, “the job’s not finished”. 

Bhodie, you were an incredible friend to Nathan, and I know you haven’t had it easy either. Nathan would have loved that you’re now in the Ballers group chat and I can already see from your quirky posts why you meant so much to Nathan. I want you to know that you haven’t lost a friend, you’ve gained all of us as family. 

Nathan would do anything for any one of his friends or family.

When my sister Angelica got married, we were also stuck in lockdown and unable to attend. It was Nathan who contacted me and said he would hide his phone and quietly facetime me so my family could watch the ceremony. We watched a combination of the ceremony and Nathan’s face as he constantly peered into the camera to make sure we were able to see. 

Nathan also had the most wonderful quirky sense of humour and was very funny and quick witted. He loved to stir people up and be part of prank or a joke.

Knowing he was on his way to dinner with his Nonno I suggested he look at the menu and wonder out loud “hmm what’s the most expensive item on the menu” and watch Nonno’s reaction. He was all in. Soon after I received a message from him. “Nonno’s a tight ass he said to buy my own.”

He thought that was hilarious. They seem like silly little stories, but they are all examples of the fun that you had when you were around Nathan.

Nathan’s passions and achievements

Nathan achieved more in his 18 short years than most could in 100 years.

Nathan was extremely intelligent. His knowledge on any topic he was passionate about was at an expert level. He not only understood strategy, but he also understood the nuance and subtlety of all the topics he was interested.  

Nathan loved sport. He loved NBA basketball and AFL footy. He loved video games. He loved Pokemon. He loved YouTube. 

When I say he loved sport, I mean he was crazy about his favourite teams, especially the Phoenix Suns, the Essendon Footy Club, the Perth Wildcats and West Perth football club. And it went both ways. Every one of those organisations showed him love too. They all went above and beyond in creating some of the greatest moments in his life. For that we will be forever thankful.

He saw all his favourite teams play live, including a trip to the USA in early 2020 to see the Phoenix Suns. He met all his favourite players including Devin Booker from the Suns and Damien Martin from the Perth Wildcats. He met Lazarbeam his favourite YouTuber. All were incredibly generous and kind to Nathan.

But Nathan didn’t just meet people, he got to know them, and they got to know him. The relationships he built with his hero’s was remarkable and I know they were just as much in awe of Nathan as he was with them.

We set up a group chat a few years ago with 5 of us, Nathan, Callum, Mary, Will and I, to talk about all thing’s basketball and NBA2K. Every day the ‘Ballers’ group chat, as it was called, would provide a new meme, a terrible take or hilarious video. Perhaps the most satisfying post came from Nathan on the 2nd of January this year after a Phoenix Suns win when he declared:

“After all this time… I can FINALLY say the Suns are the BEST team in the NBA.”

Nathan was also a YouTube content creator with aspirations to be like his idol Lazarbeam who has over 19m subscribers. We would get occasional updates as Nath hit his own subscriber milestones, 10, 20, 30, 40. He currently has 42 subscribers and I suspect there is nothing that would please Nathan more than for me to give his YouTube page a shout out and get him to 50 subscribers. I can picture him fist pumping and yelling ‘YEAH’ as I speak.    

Goodbye to Nathan

Dear Nathan,

I’ve never seen anyone show the resilience and fight that you and your mum did. You were meant to die at birth but you refused to give in.

Every birthday was meant to be your last. But you kept fighting. For 18 years you fought. You gave it everything until you had nothing left to give.

And what a life you lived. Despite all the pain and all the problems. You lived life, travelled and met people most can only dream of.

I will miss your humour, your questionable basketball takes and your contributions to our “Ballers” group chat.

I will miss playing NBA2K with you online, your cocky trash talk and complete lack of humility when you won. I will miss letting you win.

I will miss the passion with which you followed sport and lived life, your all in attitude and your happy outlook in the face of daily adversity.

You don’t need to suffer anymore. You were brave beyond belief. You can rest in peace, without pain now young man. I am so proud of you.

I will miss you.

We will all miss you. 

I love you little man x